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I've been counseling individuals for 35 years. Quite often men and women come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or strengthen their love life.

Maybe their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Maybe their partner is an alcoholic or drug addict. What are their odds of saving their relationship?

Because two individuals always get together at their common degree of woundedness, here is what I say to the lover who has sought my help:

Provided that you choose to stay in this relationship, there are things for you to discover. Each partner contributes their 100% to the romantic relationship. When it really is often simple to see what your partner is doing that is damaging to the relationship, it really is often difficult to see what you're doing.

You think you know precisely what you want in a man, right? You can also list the characteristics, qualities and requirements that your future husband has to have in order to apply for the job as your mate.

Yet, until you learn about your part in this romantic relationship system, you'll take your own dysfunctional behavior with you into another relationship. It really is typically a waste of time - unless there's physical abuse - to leave a romantic relationship before healing your own end of the system.

There's no such thing as the perfect loving relationship. All couples go through harsh times and have difficulties maintaining a healthy relationship.

The time to leave is whenever you have learned to make yourself happy no matter what your mate is doing. Whenever you learn to take 100% responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and if your dating partner is still behaving in ways that are unacceptable to you, then it really is time to leave.

You must discover the best way to respond to your dating partner in ways that are loving to yourself and that support your own joy and highest good.

When the dating partner who's available to counseling does his or her inner work, one of two things takes place. Either the other partner likes what's happening and becomes much more open, or the relationship becomes a lot more distant and difficult.

How do you know when you have met the right woman? Every person asks this question at some stage in their lives and unfortunately, there are few individuals who get a definite answer.

I tell my clients that it's a 50-50 deal - half the time things get better and half the time they get worse. They have to be okay with either end result. In fact, I ask them to let go of the outcome and simply be in the process of studying ways to take loving care of themselves.

Can your love life be helped? Perhaps. Do your own inner work and find out! Or you can do what most guys do. Most guys get girl advice on the internet from dating guru's like mystery pua and his successful mystery method.

If you're a man who's in his 50s but are asking yourself when, if ever, the love of your life will arrive, you're most likely asking yourself what place in the world you can begin to meet somebody you could share your lifetime with.

Love and educate yourself so that you can do the same for other individuals.

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